


Harry The Waitress

by Generally_Madness



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drinking, Harry works at a bar, M/M, drunken assholes, severus saves him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 11:18:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13546254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Generally_Madness/pseuds/Generally_Madness
Summary: Harry losses a bet and has to work in a bar for a month. In that month he realises bartending is a shit of a job and somehow befriend Snape





	Harry The Waitress

Harry was rubbing at a milk stain on his shirt, which he got while being clumsy when making a coffee.   
Oh would the Prophet have a field day if they knew about him working in a bar. That’s why he made sure no one would recognise him.

Yes the one and only Harry Potter was working in a bar as a girl, just because he lost a stupid bet. He doesn’t really remember what the bet was about, the important part was he lost it and now he had to work in a bar for a month. Luckily for him there were no rules made in what shape or form he had to be when working.   
So now he was standing there waiting for the next costumer, with boobs attached to his person. He had shoulder length dark brown hair, his face was round and if he was doing this he made his body into a chubby one with wide hips and a soft belly, a contrast to his always undernourished form. With the chubby spell also came a pair of quite impressive boobs. He even bought new pair of glasses just to make sure no one could recognise his usual ones. 

Harry also strategically chose the bar; it was a small establishment with regular customers and almost no chance of someone coming there that knew him. There was this guy that came every so often that he recognised from school but never really paid much attention to, nor did he now.

It was quite the shock when one Monday Snape strolled in sat himself on a bar stool, back to the wall and ordered a black coffee. Harry with shaky handy set the coffee down and hoped to Marlin himself Snape wouldn’t recognise him.  
But Snape was too involved with the daily Prophet to pay him much mined. It was a slow day so Harry was left with most, of the time sitting around observing Snape. The man read one paper after another, every so often huffing in disdain. 

Harry was so consumed in his thoughts that when Snape asked for the check he got startled and almost fell from his chair. Snape paid and left with no indication of suspecting anything.

After the initial shock Harry got accustomed to Snape showing up, quietly reading, and scanning the bar only when the other costumers got a bit to loud for his liking. He sometime even came in the afternoon to sit there observing and giving the chills to anyone that looked at him for too long.

Working in the bar made Harry understand why other waitresses complained so much about certain costumers. Yeah the joke was funny, but when you hear it 6 times in one hour you get bored of it and knowing there are still 7 or more hours of your shift left you understand the annoyance.   
There was this regular that thought he was so freaking awesome and funny, every time he came he ordered an afternoon coffee which meant he wanted a beer and when he got it he said “gracias” in the most annoying voice Harry had ever heard. There was also this other regular that ordered so quietly even he probably didn’t hear himself and when you asked what he said he acted all annoyed and huffed while repeating the order.

Harry didn’t even want to think about the perverts and weirdoes that stared at him or made lewd comments.   
Most of the time he had the hardest time holding back from blowing his lit, telling them he was actually a guy and ripping some heads off.

Not to mention all the things he heard. Some guys turned into real pigs when in a bar and the way they talked about girls completely ignoring the fact Harry was standing there as a girl hearing everything. To quote one of his co-workers “I wish those twats dicks fall off”. But there were some nice exception’s, with whom he talked and joked around having an easy chat or sometimes quite a deep conversation.

One Friday there was a rowdy bunch of guys playing darts with Snape casually ignoring them while sitting in his all-time favourite place.

It was 9 p.m. and the guys had a few beers not recognising Harry as a human species, a few beers later and an old pervert was coming on to him, hard. Harry was almost used to it by now, but the longer the guy talked, if you could call that talking what he did, the more uncomfortable it made Harry feel. One beer later and Harry was beginning to feel uneasy, worried that this could start escalating in ways he didn’t want to think about. It was nearing closing time and the guy didn’t ease off, the crowed thinned, which was making Harry even more worried about the insistent twat. If he was left alone with him Harry really didn’t know what to do. Luckily out of nowhere came the sawing line, Snape asked for the bill.

Harry with pleading eyes begged him to stay for a bit “just until the creepy guy leaves” 

Snape raised an eyebrow clearly displaying annoyance and a hint of surprise. Somehow though he found it within himself to actually agree adding under his breath “must be really desperate to think I’m the lesser evil” 

When finally left alone Snape waited 10 minutes and left as well with a “good evening” as an afterthought. 

Harry cleaned up and turned back into a boy. He usually waited until he was in the safety of his home, but today he’d rather walk home in women’s clothing than run into the twat as a girl. 

The next time Snape came, Harry was a bit nicer and bought him a coffee as a sign of his gratitude.

Snape raised his characteristic eyebrow “that’s unnecessary” 

“No, no you can’t imagine how much that helped me. Not to say the guy was planning something bad, but you know better safe than sorry” Harry really didn’t know why Snape helped him and he really wasn’t going to ask him even if it was nagging at him. He just assumed Snape had it carved into him to care for the wellbeing of the children at Hogwarts that when a girl in distress asked for help he couldn’t deny it and Harry is going to leave it at that.

A few days later and Harry was in a same predicament. This perverted guy was giving him the shiver the moment he walked in. As the night went on it didn’t get any better. In the middle of one of the aggressive come on attacks Harry didn’t know what to do so out of reflex he said “you would disagree wouldn’t you professor?” 

Working in a bar Harry also learned that to a lot of guys, if not most, a girl’s opinion was worth nothing.

Luckily Snapes response was “I agree with the girl”

The guy was slightly thrown by that, sadly it only lasted a few seconds so the argument continued but Snape finished him off with a few well-placed snide remarks. After that Harry made a point with being extra nice with Snape, talking with him whenever he could and completely ignoring the other guy.

Harry may have seemed carefree but he was constantly on the lookout, noticing the guy wouldn’t stop creepily staring at him. A constant shiver went down his spine, and the alarm bells went off, he knew something was going on. It was a bit embarrassing but he once again asked for Snapes help, this time going so far to ask if he could accompany him on his walk home, that’s how threatened he felt. 

The moment they stepped out of the bar he knew he made the right decision. The guy was standing outside waiting for him, making Harry instinctively move closer to Snape who gave the guy his most evil frightening don’t-mess-with-me-or-you-will-be-in-a-world-of-pain glare. The guy looked them once over and seemed to decide it wasn’t worth the trouble.

They walked in silence that surprisingly Snape broke “How did you know I was a professor?”

Harry stumbled a little “UH, uhm, I guessed, um one of my cousins went to Hogwarts and the way they described you I just took a wild guess “

Snape hummed in recognition but didn’t have a chance to question anything more, arriving at the flat Harry was living in. Harry looked at the floor felling awkward and unknowing what do. “well, uhm thanks again for the help…..well I guess I’ll see you around…um good night”   
he didn’t know why the good bye sounded like a question, probably his experience branded somewhere in the back of his mind told him every guy wants a reward for his trouble. Even if the statement was true Harry wouldn’t know what to do, did he get himself into deeper trouble with this than if he went home alone?

The half second, that Harry was having his inner panic attack, was broken with Snape saying “good night” and strolling down the sidewalk.

Harry had 10 days left and he made sure they were all morning shifts. He also made sure to be extra friendly with Snape and who knew the man could be so interesting and polite, well in his particular way that is. Maybe it was just because Harry made sure to not do or say anything stupid. Well there were occasionally some silly things which Snape countered with a witty retort that made Harry smile every time. 

Harry had 2 days left and he didn’t know if Snape would show on the last one, so he put everything in to it, just so Snape would remember him, well remember her, he definitely remembers Harry of that he was sure.  
Somehow the sentence   
“Will you come tomorrow for a coffee as well” came out as “Will you go out for a coffee tomorrow” 

The raised eyebrow was a given, Harry was already franticly thinking of how to backpedal when Snape answered “You are a very nice, smart, beautiful young girl and I appreciate your flirting but I can’t”

*WHAT…..OH MY GOD I was flirting with him, I was flirting with Snape this whole time and I haven’t even noticed, what the hell*

Harry flustered and red in the face tried to save what was left of the shipwreck “I, Oh, um upsss I didn’t mean to say that. Ugh well It’s my last day tomorrow so I wondered if I’ll see you…I..umm well about the flirting I didn’t really…not to say I wouldn’t it’s just, your nice well in your way and no man is ever nice to me so I just probably subconsciously flirted with you and um…yeah” *not to mention I’m actually a guy you hate if I remember right*  
At the end of Harrys babbling Snape actually smiled, that’s what made Harry realise he was in deep shit.

“Don’t worry and believe me you would be the first one to take out for a coffee but I prefer men”

Harrys eyes got dinner plate big “I would never have guest”

“nor do other men it seems”

To an outsider it would seem they were having a casual chat, while Harry was doing his best to ignore his heart that was pounding in his ears. Snape actually trusted him enough to tell him, he knew this was a big deal, with the way the man was so privet, this was special. Or maybe Snape just didn’t care now that he won’t se him as her again. It didn’t matter Harrys insides were in disarray anyway. 

The last day went by there was no Snape, and it was hard saying goodbye to his colleges who somehow didn’t even know him, only the chubby girl that grew to their hearts.

A month went by Harry was casually walking down the street running some errands when he saw Snape right in front of him “WOW I haven’t seen you for so long, never thought I would run into you like this but it’s nice seeing your face again” offering him the biggest smile to go with the speech.

Snape’ stony face stared at him with only disbelief showing through. In that moment of realisation Harrys smile fell and his mouth shaped a big ‘O’ of shock. He completely forgot, Snape was talking to the girl not him, he was just so happy to see him he forgot, how could he have forgotten that.

“I, ugh um…I really don’t know how to explain to you why I’m happy to see you”

Snape’ eyes narrowed looking him over “Have you considered that you’ve got hit by a spell”

Harry couldn’t help but let small giggle leave his mouth at the comment *Oh my god I giggled, I giggled in front of Snape, I giggled like a teenage girl in front of Snape* “No I’m pretty sure I wasn’t” Harry was proud that it came out half way understandable with the inner breakdown going on. 

Snape contemplated him “you are starting to make me worry about you Mr Potter”

Harry couldn’t help himself he knew back then he was in deep shit and it didn’t get better after a month of not seeing Snape Harry was just as much in love as before, even if he never wanted to use that word and Snape in the same sentence. His eyes got big imitation a puppy “you would actually worry about me” just the thought made him all warm inside.

Snapes bored eyes narrowed again “Now I’m convinced you got hit by something, truck maybe. You should see a healer as soon as possible.”

With that Snape turned and attempted to walk away.

Harry now that he finally got to see Snape again wasn’t ready to let him go so soon, in panic the words got blurted out “I know your gay” the moment they left him he wished he could suck them back in swallow them even choke to death, just to not let them happen.

But it was too late, Snape went stock still just standing there a slight moving of the head looking for witnesses and then in a flash he was towering over Harry.

“Are you trying to threaten me?” the words were spoken slow, emphasizing the death look he was giving. Harry could only cower into himself; he just wanted a few more precious moments with him how did it end up like this and not even a minute past from his stupid giggling. 

Snape grabbed his arm “I don’t know what you want to achieve but it would be more appropriate if we do it in a more privet place”

Harry looked at the man with frightened doe eyes completely unsure of himself “my…place?” pointing a shaky finger down the road.   
He didn’t have time to rethink Snape was already dragging him down the way he pointed. 

They arrived at his apartment in complete silence that continued to stretch even when they were already standing in the safety of four walls.

Snape moved around looking at everything in suspicion, going so far as to pull out his wand casting a spell Harry didn’t quite catch.

“Just making sure nothing was off or recording this” Snapes voice was levelled while he looked out the window. Harry assumed that was still left of his spying days to make sure to not be in a disadvantage.

“Look I..ugh…I really don’t know what to say to assure you I didn’t mean anything with that. It’s your thing, your life…”

“yes, and why did you have to mention it?” Snape didn’t look at Harry just glanced down the street again.

“I don’t know It just came out I..”

Finally looking at him “Do you have a roommate?”

That caught Harry off-guard “um, no….what dos that got to do with this?”

“You are Ana, you’re the waitress”

That shocked Harry even more “What, but how…umm no…umm my names Harry what”

Snape gave him an annoyed look “Don’t play dumb with me, I know you were the waitress but I doubt this was your brilliant plan from the beginning. So tell me did you decide just out of curiosity to dress yourself as a girl and upgrade your plan when you saw me or is there something else behind this?”

“But how do you know it was me”

Snape huffed in annoyance “don’t you remember you waived at me from this window, now back to your explanation”

Harry was astonished that such a small detail gave him away “I lost a bet and that was it. I lost a bet and had to work in a bar but I didn’t want anyone recognising me so I changed into a girl meeting you there was a complete coincidence. I didn’t mean to deceive you and I never would have thought of getting close to you just to find out a secret, you helped me and I’m really grateful so believe me I will never tell anyone plus now you know I dressed in drag for a month so you have blackmail material and we are quit.”

Snape crossed his arms over his chest “If so why did you feel the need to shout it out in the open?”

“Oh yeah that, it just came out. You probably don’t believe me but you grew on me”

“If you say like cancer I might have to hurt you”

A small smile tugged at Harrys lips at that “No, not like that it was fun hanging out with you and I missed it that’s why I wanted to get a few more seconds before you leave and my stupid brain couldn’t think of anything else”

Snaped stance seem to relax a bit “well assuming you are not lying you could have just said so from the start”

Now Harry was the one raising an eyebrow “Somehow I find it hard to believe you would just want to hang out with me”

“you could have made something up like needing my help with a potion, believable and it wouldn’t have made me so hostile”

Snape could see how stupid Harry felt for not thinking of that himself “Right, so umm want to hang out sometime or do I need to make up a potion I need help with?”

“I’m a busy man and don’t have time to waste” Harrys smile broke “but who am I to prevent you from showing up in my usual bar” and Harrys smile was back full force.

“It’s a deal”

Snape looked at him indifferent “I don’t know what you’re talking about” leaving so Harry could only smile at his retrieving back.

 

On early Monday morning Harry stepped through the doors of his old workplace planning on waiting for Snape to show but was surprised to see the man was already there sipping on his coffee.

“Well you’re early, can’t remember you ever being here at this time before” 

Snape looked at him “I had a feeling someone would disturb my morning paper if I came at my usual time. I see I was right”

Harry beamed at him “Well glade to be the one for who you change your morning routine just to make time to talk”

“Don’t be foolish, I just wanted to read in peace before you ruin the quiet”

That didn’t make Harry stop smiling at Snape “You may say it like that but I will stick with my explanation and you can protest as much as you want” 

Harry ordered a coffee and they had a light chat, talking about what stupid things The Prophet wrote about and what it got wrong, talking about how stupid the children are this days, which team would win the next quidditch game and so forth. Harry paid for the coffees and thanked Snape for the company before they left each on their own way.

This continued to occur, Harry ‘coincidently’ running into Snape in the bar leading to them having a drink together casually chatting and in turns paying for the drinks. 

One afternoon Harry was sure Snape would show up but an hour and a half had already past and still no Snape. Harry was about to give up ordering another beer not even counting anymore.   
Snape walked into the bar going directly to Harrys table.

“I would apologise for being late because the meeting was longer than planed but since this wasn’t an arranged thing I don’t feel the need” giving Harry a sideways smirk.

Harry had to blink a bit to get rid of the fog “Well just for your information I was having a good time without you here on our un-agreed meeting” 

“Yes, I can see that”

Harry put a hand to his chest acting offended “I resent that, I’m not drunk”

“I never said that”

Harry giggled “yeah like you never said to meet you here”

Snape looked at him in amusement “all the things your silly mind comes up with”

Harry let his tongue quickly poke out “Theirs a bunch of things this silly mind thinks of when you’re not around”

“I bet it dos”

So they continued to chat for a bit, drinking a few more rounds. Somehow ending up talking about how it was when Harry worked in the bar they were now siting in.

“That leaves the question why you were flirting with me”

Harrys look said ‘you’re not stupid, why are you asking again’ “I told you, you were the only nice one and I didn’t really know I was doing it”

Snape looked amused and to Harrys drunken mind it looked like the cat that caught the canary “Yes you explained that then, but it still leaves it open why you flirted with me a moment back and still are”

“Oh no, Snape you drunk”

Snape snorted at the comment “You’re the one to talk”

“HEY, it’s not my fault you took so long and I got bored”

Snape shook his head “don’t blame it on the alcohol you’ve been flirting with me from the first time we went for a coffee, I’m not blind. So tell me is this the joke you were planning?”

Harry got red and hot completely flustered “What, who what? I don’t even know where to start, your taking advantage of my drunken state to ask things I don ‘t know what to say to.”

Snape didn’t say a word just kept looking at him expecting Harry to come clean for something Harry didn’t know.

“Ugh really why do you have to be so paranoid, I’m not trying to trick you I know better than to even try. I’m not making fun of you I really am not.” Harry threw his arms in the air “I give up, I’m pleasantly boozed so I don’t care anymore.”

Snape raised an eyebrow leaning back getting ready to hear the explanation, getting one he didn’t expect.

“You know what, I tried, I really tried not to, I didn’t know I was flirting, I wanted to be as normal as possible but it seems my subconscious has a different idea. I like you, Ok. I started liking you when you were nice and now that you are actually nice to me and not my alter ego I fell even deeper into shit, ok. I never planned on it and I know you would never appreciate someone like me swooning over you but I never planned to let you know, but I should have guessed you would figure it out sooner or later, what was I thinking you are way smarter than me so how should I have hidden it, dame and now I ruined it all, I really like our dates, …well not dates you would never go on a date with me I mean our drinks together and now I won’t be able to see you, I missed you so much that month I didn’t see you but I told you right that I missed you and wanted to talk that’s why I shouted that in the street and when you agreed to go for a drink I was so happy and now I won’t be able and..”

Snape put a calming hand no Harrys shoulder “Calm down your getting into a drunken ramble and giving me a headache with the fast talking”

“Oh, ugh sorry I’ll stop now”

Harry looked at his empty bottle “I don’t feel so good, I think I’m gonna puke, I really need to go home” everything just crashed into him Snape finding out, the drinks, the worries of what will Snape do now that he knows. Harry just wanted to get out of there as quick as possible. He got a few meters into the street before everything got dark.

 

Harry woke up in hid bed surprisingly no hangover or sick feeling, at least not from the drinking; the ones from remembering what happened were a whole different category. He walked into his kitchen and almost had a heart attack.   
Snape was sitting at the table looking at him boredom in his eyes 

“Well the sleeping beauty finally wakes”

Harry couldn’t quite make himself look at the man “um yeah, not really a beauty in the state I’m in,….umm Sorry. I don’t even know for what, everything probably and you don’t have to feel responsible, I was stupid and carless and it’s not your problem that I’m such an idiot, I understand if you don’t want to hang out..”

“You’re doing it again”

Harry looked up from his feat “what?”

“Talking up a storm”

Harrys gaze fell down again “Oh, yeah another one of my annoying qualities” he stood there in quiet, it was just a few seconds that felt like ages.

“Yes annoying but I grew quite fond of it. You really are acting like a teenage love sick girl. Sit down and we can talk about it like adults”

Harry blinked owlishly at Snape “Don’t you want to get rid of me as soon as possible and forget this ever happened?”

Snape shook his head lightly looking at his cup, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips before he looked straight at Harry with piercing eyes   
“If you recall I told you, you would be the first one I would take out for a coffee if you were a man, well if I’m not mistaken there is nothing standing in the way of that date now that you’re not running around pretending to be Ana confusing straight men and denying your flirting with me”

Harry had to bite his lip or his head would probably split in half from the shit eating grin that wanted to permanently plaster itself on his face. “Well Mr Snape it sounds like you are asking me out?”

“Don’t make me regret it”


End file.
